the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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