and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
