fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
