bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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