they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
