Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
