Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
