Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
