I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
