You really coming over, don't trick.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
