I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
