I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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