Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
