they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
