Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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