Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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