I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
