I think im going to throw up on grandma
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
