I want to make a zoo with you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
