HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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