You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
