i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
