if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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