you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
