ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
