We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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