Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
