i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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