Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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