that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
