i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
