I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
