the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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