Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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