yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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