Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
