I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
