So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
