You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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