I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
