i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
