when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
