her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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