im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
