Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize