yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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