It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Randomize
