did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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