Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
