Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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