i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
